This is not my ceiling
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
