I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
