I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
