I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
