just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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