I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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