woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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