just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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