oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
