youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
