Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
