I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
