I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
stop calling my apartment porn island.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
