We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
