Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
