I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
