in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize