just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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