Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
