they need to just BURY HIM!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
