No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
