Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
