I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
