i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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