We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize