Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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