2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
even my farts smell like vagina
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
