I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize