I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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