I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
