im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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