Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
