Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
