Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
