I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
