Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
