she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
