Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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