Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
