Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we're making bets on your personal life
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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