is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
