i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
