I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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