I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
