Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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