Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
