just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
