the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
