Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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