I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize