I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
