I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
