Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
