what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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